There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It's rum buckets o'clock
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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