I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
