If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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