Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
