Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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