Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
