Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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