I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
