He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i wish my penis had a tongue
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
