At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
