Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
