I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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