We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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