and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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