i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
