But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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