I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
