Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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