I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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