Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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