This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
