"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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