This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Randomize
