forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
