no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
