I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
