It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
