It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
