I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
