I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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