He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
