ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
