She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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