I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
