at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
