i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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