I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
