apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
