let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he shaved USA in his pubs
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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