Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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