You really coming over, don't trick.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
