She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just gargled with NyQuil
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