listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize