FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
