that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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