I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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