there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
