How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
