His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
