Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
