i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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