I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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