I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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