i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
