Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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