Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
