So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
