Sry I called you an 8
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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