This dress was meant to end up on your floor
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize