It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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