You're so nebulous sometimes
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
