"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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