So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
