We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
