"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
