you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
